Bush Shocker: Decides To Help Automakers


In an absolutely stunning move, President George W. Bush has actually made a rational decision. After weeks of picking his nose and scratching his head, pretending that he was remotely concerned with the  economic disaster he has caused, Mr. Bush has finally decided to act.


The Decider-in-Chief agreed to throw a life line to the US automakers. In a nationally televised address, President Bush announced that he was providing $17.4 billion dollars in rescue money from the Troubled Assets Relief Program (TARP) in order to help the Big Three automakers.


While acknowledging the potential for further economic damage, Mr. Bush set a March 31st 2009 deadline for the automakers to come up with a viable business plan while stressing that concessions will have to be made by management, labor unions, suppliers and creditors. Surprisingly, Mr. Bush did not announce the creation of a “Car Czar” to oversee the loan disbursement.


In a statement immediately following the loan approval, the Chrysler Corporation expressed its satisfaction at the government’s decision.


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